From: "Never Ask a Man the Size of His Spread: A Cowgirl's Guide to Life," by Gladiola Montana

"A woman who intends
to lean on her husband for support
better be sure he stands on solid ground."

"Foolin' a man ain't that hard,
finding one that ain't a fool, that's hard."

"Some things don't need
all the thought people give 'em."

"One of these days is none of these days."

"You can't get ahead of anybody
you're trying to get even with."

"If you wake up and
find yourself a success,
you ain't been asleep."

"When somebody commences to flatterin' you, there's generally more up their sleeve than just an arm."

"Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out."

"Women have a lot of courage;
otherwise, none would ever get married."

"It's prudent to spend less time
tryin' to figure out who's right
and more time tryin'
to figure out what's right."

"A habit is either a blessing or a curse.
Think about that when
you find you've fallen into one."

"Be wary of puppy love, it can lead to a dog's life."

"People whose manners
are on the absent side
are probably missin'
more than just their manners."

"Allow no war parties in your bed."

"When you're workin' a horse
or dealin' with a man,
take it slow, take it easy,
and don't rush 'em."

"Crack your own whip.
Don't let anybody else do it for you."

"About half your troubles
come from wanting your way;
the other half come from getting it."

"Opportunity may knock just once,
but temptation is a frequent visitor."

"The more inches you give a man,
the more he becomes a ruler."

"A weddin' ring
should cut off
the wearer's circulation."

"If you get wrapped up in yourself,
you'll find you make
a pretty small package."

"Charity is not a luxury
to be acquired along the way,
it must be nurtured
from the heart's beginning."

"Folks who have no vices have very few virtues."

"Premature ultimatums
generally result from
immature considerations."

"Sometimes it's smart
to ask a man's advice,
but takin' it is another matter."

"Don't be afraid to give up on a good idea
if the facts don't bear it out."

"Before you get serious with a cowboy,
make sure he values you more than his truck."

"Ride the high country, see through God's eyes.
Ride the desert, feel God's strength.
Ride the prairies, hear God's voice."

"If you're fixin' to get yourself a good stallion,
don't go looking in the donkey corral."

"Even a fool can be right some of the time."

"A horse is considered well trained
when he is convinced
that he wants to do
what you want him to do."

"Convincing yourself that a bad idea
is a good idea
is a bad idea."

"From time to time,
find yourself a place so peaceful
that you can enter the quiet."

"Recognizing simple certainties
can sometimes lead to the wildest ideas."

"Avoid becoming emotional over a jackass."

"Leisure to repent is a luxury ill-afforded."

"Baloney is baloney
no matter how thin you slice it."

"If a man thinks
that a woman who can dog steers,
ride broncs and rope the wind
is too much for him,
he's probably right."